God, the artist.

It’s actually quite funny how brilliant God is. He is the master of storytelling and the comedian you never knew you needed to hear.

For years, I have called to God and each time He has responded in more ways than one. In some ways, His response is exactly as I imagined it. Other times, He responds in ways I can barely even comprehend. Nevertheless, He responds and each time my heat is overflowing from his constant love.

Lately, God has been teaching me about isolation. He has teaching me that healing comes in many forms and one way specifically stems from taking yourself out of the equation and learning to walk on your own. For far too long, I’ve loved the company of others. I love being surrounded by people because the joy they feel radiates off of them and finds its way onto me.

I’m a social butterfly as my mom and teachers have told me. I gravitate towards people without any restraint. Bottom line, I just love people. It’s easy to love people when they make you love the parts you tend to hate about yourself. But all this to say, are the people you love to be around the right kind of people?

My prayer and daily talk with God is that he sends me the right kind of people. Not just any run of the mill kind of people. I prayed for God to show me if the people in my life now are the people who push me to  be better. I recall one night sitting in my bed unable to fall asleep, so I closed my eyes and said “God, give me the vision and the clarity to see through those in my life who are not helping me to grow.”

I woke up that next morning and went to class and unbeknownst to those around me, I was studying them. I was looking for signs that would allow me to determine between those that are purposeful and those that are convenient. At first, I begin to see exactly what I had prayed to God to show me. It wasn’t pretty. I saw through the barrier that I had put on people to hide their true intentions and I was hurt.

The same people who I considered near and dear were the ones that I had prayed to God to reveal to me. Truth be told, they weren’t for me the way I was for them. While I publically rooted for them, they secretly belittled and prayed on my downfall.

Its been over the course of a few months, but I am beginning to understand my prayer. When I initially prayed for clarity regarding the relationships around me, I wanted it because I thought I needed to since that was the sermon series for church. What I didn’t know, was that I needed it. I needed to understand that many of the relationships we want to keep are exactly the ones that need to go.

My mantra for this new year and season of life that I am about to embark on, is that:

“I am priority. I will not shrink myself or allow myself not to grow for the sake of keeping relationships. I deserve to grow and I deserve to flourish for I am a product of the King. He has already written my story in the stars and I would be a fool not to let the world know it.”

God, the artist.

God, the forgiver.

God, the teacher.

No matter what you refer to Him as, just know that when you call on Him be ready to listen. His way and his understanding is far greater than anything we can fathom.

-Cecil R.